DVD LIVE REVIEW: Blue Demon Contra Los Cerebros Infernales
- The opening credits are set to some funky ‘70’s music, like Jackie Brown.
- Two men are talking in an office. It seems like a pleasant conversation.
- One of the two guys has a Castro beard.
- They’ve been talking for a while now. I wonder what they’re talking about.
- They’re both smoking, maybe their conversation is about cigarettes.
- They just had the camera on the guy who wasn’t talking for a while. Weird.
- They did this cool fade where the camera moved, but then they cut away anyway. Kind of funny.
- Now we’re at the airport and we’re watching planes land.
- Somebody punch somebody!
- This is now a documentary about how planes taxi.
- Somebody’s parents are picking them up from the plane.
- You can tell this is old school because they’re going right up to the plane.
- Ah yes, a day in the life of an airport employee. Maybe that’s what this title means.
- For being in an airport, this scene is really quiet.
- There was one line.
- Now eerie music.
- Oh no! I just saw Blue Demon. I think.
- He’s behind some lights or something, just watching everybody.
- People are getting in their cars and driving away.
- He just keeps watching.
- Now Blue Demon- in wrestling gear- is getting into a car and following somebody else.
- Blue Demon is in pursuit!
- The one guy just said “I think Blue Demon is following us”
- They’re talking about it, wondering which luchadors it might be.
- And suddenly there is a woman in the car. Where’d she come from?
- Two people in suits- one is a distinct blue- looked like they were going into their house, but then they turned and kept walking.
- Blue Demon is shown on top of a hill and then through the power of jump cuts he’s all over the place.
- Music has kicked in.
- Blue Demon has jumped off the steps and done a plancha onto a guy.
- They’re rolling around in the dirt together.
- Bright blue suit is screaming and thrashing. Bright blue suit is also a woman.
- And just like that, new scene.
- Not sure where we are, but two men are talking to a woman.
- It’s either a science lab or a television studio.
- Here come more women.
- And now guys in spacesuits are coming up out of the floor.
- They’re all standing in a line. This might be a bisexual whorehouse.
- I’m not joking, I think this is a whorehouse now.
- Ah, but here are some beakers in the seemingly same place, only a scientist guy is looking under a microscope as Blue Demon looks on.
- They’re looking at a head x-ray. Guess Blue Demon really doesn’t ever take his mask off.
- We seem to have two different plotlines going on here, with good guys and bad guys, but they also appear to be in the same place.
- So many levers…
- The scientist with Blue Demon appears to be discovering electricity.
- Doctors are talking now.
- Where did I put my nail clippers?
- Cut to a wrestling match. Blue Demon is fighting the black haired version of Ric Flair.
- This match might be the whole rest of the movie, and I’m fine with that.
- I heard the commentator say “Blue Demon”! I caught that part.
- “Back to the lab it was created at” – Sage Francis
- If I had to guess, I’d say these doctors were doing some sort of brain surgery to make someone who can beat Blue Demon.
- But we’re back to the match now and Demon is getting beaten. Maybe they’re really controlling the guy fighting Blue Demon? OMG, did that Hugh Jackman movie rip this off??
- I just heard them say “mascara”, as in Mil.
- And now the doctors are frying up a brain.
- Everyone knows you slow cook brain…
- Back to the match and Blue Demon is in trouble.
- Nevermind, he just won.
- The match is over and dinner is served: BRAINS.
- And now a word from a random go-go dancer.
- Though probably not vital to the plot, this does eat up about twenty minutes of the movie.
- Mustache man approves of the dancing.
- WHY IS THIS WOMAN STILL DANCING??
- She’s finally done and the mustache man is talking.
- I think they’re debating how much to tip since her show was pretty PG.
- Now we’re back in an office with guys in suits.
- I think I heard him say “chicano”.
- Welcome to the club.
- Everyone is dancing to a band.
- This is fun, if not pointless.
- I’ll seriously find someone to translate this movie for me and it give it a proper review if Blue Demon comes in and turns this scene into a battle royal.
- Such odd camera angles.
- SAX-A-MA-PHONE.
- Some woman and man are talking. Probably about why everyone is dancing except for them.
- This guy just walked in and the whole place went quiet.
- Quiet piano as these two men talk.
- He’s got a picture. “Have you seen John Connor?”
- Oh, that Hugh Jackman movie from before is called “Real Steel”.
- We have entered a dojo.
- So has Blue Demon.
- Or maybe Demon’s in a morgue.
- The doctors are back. Demon is “hiding” by stepping off camera.
- Dig that music, baby.
- This seems to be a team of women superheroes.
- Blue Demon’s got a bong, yo!!
- Okay, maybe not.
- He’s lurking in the background, like he’s not supposed to be part of this movie.
- And he just disappeared into thin air.
- Back to the club with the band name I can’t quite make out.
- The camera man keeps staring at the floor.
- A man and a woman are talking. I heard “Buenos noches”.
- Pull the lever!
- They’re about to drill into his brain.
- And out comes some guy’s brain.
- IT’S ALIVE!!!
- Now the scenes seem to be skipping and out of order.
- Oh well, SLOW DANCE!
- IGOR!!!!!!!!!!!!
- At least they’re wearing gloves while handling the brain.
- They appear to be putting the brain in someone. Ah yes, next week on “Brain Swapping”.
- Back to the dance.
- I recognize that woman from earlier in that bright blue suit.
- Now she’s in a light blue dress.
- She’s stealing all the paper towels from the bathroom!
- And now we have the women crime fighting league back.
- The woman in blue is eavesdropping. She planted a bug!
- It was more like a small radio and it was pretty much out in the open.
- SMOKE BOMB!
- What are these women doing?
- Men are taking someone out of their trunk.
- And here comes Blue Demon outta nowhere! They’re brawling on the lawn!!
- Blue Demon just no-sold a punch.
- And now they’re climbing a tower near a giant rocket. Where the heck did that come from??
- All along the water tower…
- “Hey, Blue Demon, how many beers have you had?” “Quatro”
- They’re fighting atop the water tower.
- And Blue Demon just knocked the other guy off, who fell like a Jenga piece.
- Back to the lab. Again.
- Did she just speak English?
- Eighteen minutes to pull off another good fight scene, Blue Demon.
- This woman is dressed like a bee.
- BRAIN SURGERY
- They had to edit the scene for the nurse to tuck in the sheets? Really?
- Agent 99, no!!!
- Was that a metal skull?
- Please move into the frame lady in a red coat.
- They need to stop talking and fight already. The end is near.
- One woman. Three men. Four mustaches.
- Now Blue Demon is wrestling someone in a red and black singlet who is also barefoot.
- Is he Carlos Colon?
- Jerry Lawler?
- Blue Demon does not like to sell.
- Interesting Side Note: The ref wears all white for some reason.
- The three superhero women just showed up to the match. Bee Woman is in the crowd as well.
- All roads end here.
- I think Blue Demon just died.
- Nope, he’s hulking up.
- Now Blue Demon is out of the match somehow and getting a rub down.
- Enter Bee Woman.
- Bee Woman just answered the phone. How’d anyone know she’d be there?
- Now the guy is on the phone.
- If this movie ends with talking, I’m going to sue.
- Blue Demon speaks.
- “Sorry I killed that man on the water tower”…
- A newspaper? What??
- This movie is about to end with a newspaper article.
- Beard man from the beginning- who looks kind of like Rick Rude now- is trimming his beard.
- Beard man is talking to the blue woman.
- The music has kicked in with two minutes to go.
- The superhero trio of women are with beard man.
- They’re talking beard man away.
- Blue woman came back and is missing beard man.
- Cars are driving fast.
- And the movie just ended with blue woman driving in the car, talking on the phone. That can’t be right but this just looped back to the beginning so I don’t know.
